Love and romance are the sweetest words ever heard on earth… It is commonly said that true love is spelled G-I-V-E. It is not based on what you can get, but rooted in what you can give to the other person. Love not what you receive but what you give. Thus true and genuine love is when you reach the point where the happiness, security, and development of another person. Love is as much of a driving force to you as your own happiness, security, and development. But are all the romantic relations based on self dedication and sacrifice? What if your lover is selfish to the extent that instead of giving you the comfort of romance he/she always thrives to receive it from you?
Selfishness in romance is the detrimental aspect that drains out the lovely romantic experience. The essence of any relationship is the mutual sharing, caring and love. But if one of the partners is motivated by selfishness, instead of the mutual bond there will only remain a life of adjustments. A selfish lover will always expect his/her lover to love them even though he or she never loves in return. When one loves his/her partner, it is with the firm belief that he/she will be loved in return. In a selfish relationship there will always be one-way love. Love or romance with even a minute spark of selfishness is no love and no romance as love never expects anything other than love in return.
 | |
 | |
| |
| Possessiveness is the extreme end of romance that one wishes to have his/her lover only for himself or herself. |
|  |
True love can never be selfish as it is forgetting the identity and existence of both the partners and bonding the minds and body in a divine and metaphysical union. But the modern romance to a great extent is selfish to the extreme. People love for physical pleasures and material benefits. Girls fell in love just for the expensive gifts and outings while guys prefer girlfriends who could provide them physical pleasures. The meaning of love has changed and has now become the synonym of time pass. Anyone will agree with me that true love is a rare element to be found in today"s society.
This is a difficult question to answer that what if you find that your lover is selfish? A selfish lover will for sure make you depressed and stressed. When you feel that your lover no more loves you for your happiness but is focused on his/her pleasures it is better to get away from such a relationship as it will never benefit you. But if you are such a die-hard lover and want not to miss him/her you can strain all your nerves to convince your lover about your feelings to him/her and gain their true love. There could be hundred and one reasons for a person to be selfish in character and if you succeed to understand your lover well it wont be a difficult task for you to gain his/her genuine love.
~ Saneesh Michael